Sunday, March 27, 2005

 

Meetings

I have to attend a "Are we making progress? Come on people, we have a deadline coming up!" meeting at 10 today. I think meetings are a waste of time. But wait, let me further substantiate that view so we don't jump to conclusions. I present for your appraisal a rational, cost-benefit analysis of work-related meetings:

Cons

1. I will be asked what I accomplished in the past two weeks. (Acquired a blog is not the best answer to this question.)

2. My boss (and other people who incorrectly believe I work for them) will dump more work on me.

3. Nothing of substance will be accomplished.

Pros

1. Instead of doing actual work, I get to sit in a room with semi-bored people and draw little beasts on a notepad for a full hour.

2. Nothing of substance will be accomplished, which means there will be another meeting a week or two later. (See pro #1.)


It looks like the cons kind of win. But that doesn't mean anything, because I still have to go to the meeting. In the words of the great Red Foreman (That 70's Show), "If it wasn't work, it wouldn't be called work, damn it!"


Comments:
There are meetings, and there meetings, and the one you're talking about is, well, one of those. They _ought_ to be coordination meetings, lasting about 15 minutes, to check and see if there are any interdependencies that have been identified recently. Instead, they are a platform for your boss to discourse at length about, well, anything, confuse the rest of us, and generally provide no useful information. (Why, yes, I have been in that same meeting, why do you ask?)

There are, I think, two useful kind of meetings. There's the short one, described above. They really, really need to be short. If there's that much information that needs to be exchanged, a meeting is not the best format.

The other kind is the torturous but necessary strategic meeting where various choices and plans of action are determined. I've worked in positions that required those. Those should also be fairly short, but god help us, they're usually long. I once worked with a woman whose idea of involvement was to create more branches to decision trees just as we had lopped off a branch, making for endless meetings. You couldn't decide anything because as soon as it was decided, she would present a new set of options for that same issue.

Me, I wish I could draw beasties. I usually write the alphabet in my best handwriting, in hopes of improving my penmanship. So far, it hasn't worked.
 
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