Friday, March 25, 2005
For the love of God
I'm standing at a bus stop in downtown Minneapolis, mindlessly looking at my shoes, when this old lady and a not-so-old guy walk up to me, smiling ear to ear. I think, uh oh, they want a) money, b) conversion, or c) both a and b. It was too late to pretend they didn't exist 'cuz I had already smiled back at them (I need to do something about that). The old lady says, "Well, hello pretty one!" Shit, it's money, isn't it? She's holding a clipboard and a pen. They ask me my first name. I spell it for them. The guy repeats it 4 or 5 times. Ok, so my name is a little unusual, but it's not like it's "Medusa" or "Homosapien."
"Munazza
Munazza
Munazza
Munazza
Hmm, it's beautiful."
The lady tells me they're from some church, doing a survey.* The weird thing is, she doesn't hand me the pen or the clipboard; instead she seems to want to write down my responses for me. She asks me if I belong to a religious group, how often I attend religious services, whether I think I'll go to heaven. When I say, "Gee, I hope so" (this was one of the answer choices; the others were "Yes," No," and I couldn't see the last one b/c the lady's hand was covering it), the guy stops the old lady from proceeding any further.
"Let me just talk a little bit about this here, 'cuz I know where you are coming from. First, there was Abraham. That's where the three major religions of the world come from. You believe in Abraham, and we believe in Abraham, and Abraham is from God. And God, as we all know, is love. Among the many names of God, my favorite is that God's name is Love. And He loves us all, you, me, him (pointing towards a guy leaning against a wall; he gave us a dirty look). So, then, there's the question of whether we are good enough. We try to do good deeds, but we're never sure if we will go to Heaven. But God loves us, and He...."
By this point, it was clear what he was getting at. I stopped paying attention, and this is how the rest of the monologue sounded to me:
"Jesus.................................................son of God.........................................you don't believe..................................loves...........................God....................love.........................of His love.................loves us....................."
Then my bus arrived and I left. They did hand me a pamphlet that I abandoned on a seat without looking at it.
Discussion questions:
1. Since these two used the unethical guise of a survey to trick me into a discussion about Jesus being the savior, are they going to Hell for deception?
2. What do you think was the fourth answer choice to the question: "Do you think you will go to heaven?"
* This is, of course, a highly flawed and unscientific method of conducting a survey, unless you're pre-testing one, but more on that later. (Yeah, they do teach us something in sociology.)
"Munazza
Munazza
Munazza
Munazza
Hmm, it's beautiful."
The lady tells me they're from some church, doing a survey.* The weird thing is, she doesn't hand me the pen or the clipboard; instead she seems to want to write down my responses for me. She asks me if I belong to a religious group, how often I attend religious services, whether I think I'll go to heaven. When I say, "Gee, I hope so" (this was one of the answer choices; the others were "Yes," No," and I couldn't see the last one b/c the lady's hand was covering it), the guy stops the old lady from proceeding any further.
"Let me just talk a little bit about this here, 'cuz I know where you are coming from. First, there was Abraham. That's where the three major religions of the world come from. You believe in Abraham, and we believe in Abraham, and Abraham is from God. And God, as we all know, is love. Among the many names of God, my favorite is that God's name is Love. And He loves us all, you, me, him (pointing towards a guy leaning against a wall; he gave us a dirty look). So, then, there's the question of whether we are good enough. We try to do good deeds, but we're never sure if we will go to Heaven. But God loves us, and He...."
By this point, it was clear what he was getting at. I stopped paying attention, and this is how the rest of the monologue sounded to me:
"Jesus.................................................son of God.........................................you don't believe..................................loves...........................God....................love.........................of His love.................loves us....................."
Then my bus arrived and I left. They did hand me a pamphlet that I abandoned on a seat without looking at it.
Discussion questions:
1. Since these two used the unethical guise of a survey to trick me into a discussion about Jesus being the savior, are they going to Hell for deception?
2. What do you think was the fourth answer choice to the question: "Do you think you will go to heaven?"
* This is, of course, a highly flawed and unscientific method of conducting a survey, unless you're pre-testing one, but more on that later. (Yeah, they do teach us something in sociology.)
So, I wanna be a lawyer
I used to think blogs were for unemployed people, or for people with no friends. I have stopped thinking like that now. Actually, let me rephrase that: I have stopped thinking.
I have to take the LSAT (Law School Admission Test) in June. I took it last June, too, but let's just say there's room for improvement. Last year I started studying five days before the exam. One day I was sitting in Barnes and Noble doing practice exams, and this guy who was taking the LSAT the same date as I was sitting across from me. We started talking, and he said he'd been studying for the past two months. I looked at him with equal parts contempt and incredulousness: "That's it, two months??!!??"
Poor guy looked like a kitten who has been kicked. It was fun.
Maybe on my law school application, instead of writing a personal statement, I'll put a link to my blog. Yeah, that's what I should do.
Seriously, though, since I work for the Med School, I know that some people who get surgical residencies have mediocre undergrad grades. And now they act like they own the place. LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE!! Bastards.
I have to take the LSAT (Law School Admission Test) in June. I took it last June, too, but let's just say there's room for improvement. Last year I started studying five days before the exam. One day I was sitting in Barnes and Noble doing practice exams, and this guy who was taking the LSAT the same date as I was sitting across from me. We started talking, and he said he'd been studying for the past two months. I looked at him with equal parts contempt and incredulousness: "That's it, two months??!!??"
Poor guy looked like a kitten who has been kicked. It was fun.
Maybe on my law school application, instead of writing a personal statement, I'll put a link to my blog. Yeah, that's what I should do.
Seriously, though, since I work for the Med School, I know that some people who get surgical residencies have mediocre undergrad grades. And now they act like they own the place. LIKE THEY OWN THE PLACE!! Bastards.
I'm a morning person
Morning news sucks. "There's a new cow at the Minnesota zoo!" Ooooooooh, you'd think they added a dinosaur or something. Back in my home country, you can see cows strolling on the street.
Fortunately, buses have free newspapers in the morning. I love it. It'd be nice if they also threw in free coffee. Mocha. With whipped cream. Hmmmmm....
About the newspapers, though, it just cracks me up how the men invariably go for the sports section before anything else. No surprise, but it's still pretty amusing.
I really should start working now. I have to write a memo. Maybe I'll slip in a joke at the end. Okay, fine, I'm writing the memo solely for the purpose of circulating the joke. Like you've never done it.
Later.
Fortunately, buses have free newspapers in the morning. I love it. It'd be nice if they also threw in free coffee. Mocha. With whipped cream. Hmmmmm....
About the newspapers, though, it just cracks me up how the men invariably go for the sports section before anything else. No surprise, but it's still pretty amusing.
I really should start working now. I have to write a memo. Maybe I'll slip in a joke at the end. Okay, fine, I'm writing the memo solely for the purpose of circulating the joke. Like you've never done it.
Later.
